ladykatza

while christmas shopping for the kids we went to Media Play. while in a conversations with my husband i look up and realize there are a bunch of Klingons dressed in Santa Hats yelling merry christmas at shoppers. (they were there for toys for tots). i was suddenly in need of a camera that worked.

simon got a pair of small binoculars from his great grandpa. he was looking thought them at daecon…

daecon: simon, your binoculars are backwards.
simon: yes, i want you to be small so you’ll be scared of me

driving to my mother-in-law’s house i was having trouble remembering something…

me: the information is there, i just can’t recall it. guess i need to just let the search pattern run in the background until i find it. *facepalm* oh my god, i’m turning into an ubergeek!
daecon: too late.
me: *looking incredulous* what do you mean!
daecon: well… you installed linux and you have breasts. that’s like, a sign of the apacolypse.

Current Mood:  cold

so simon was jumping up and down on the bed the other night while i was trying to get them into bed. not exactly and easy task of these days of sugar highs and staying up late.

so he starts pounding his chest going “ahhh eeeaaahhh aaahhh”.

me: simon! are you king kong?
simon: no… who’s that?
me: oh.. he’s a BIIIG gorilla, almost a HUNDRED FEET tall! (100 is currently magic WOW THAT’S BIG number).
simon: one hundred feet?! *quizical look*
me: yes simon, see, you’re only THREE feet tall.
simon: no i’m not! i’m only TWO feet tall. *sits down and shows me this feet* see? two. one, two!

Current Mood:  amused

so simon comes downstairs the other night to tell me that he can’t sleep. well… here was the conversation:

simon: um… elizabeth?
me: yes simon?
simon: i can’t sleep because there are imps in the refrigerator.
me: what?
simon: there are imps in the refrigerator.
me: what imps?
simon: didn’t you hear them open the door?
me: no. no simon, there are no imps in the refrigerator.
simon: you mean they left!?
me: no simon, there are no imps. go back to bed.
simon: but i can’t, there’s imps.
me: the imps left simon, go to bed.
simon: but you said there were no imps, you mean they just left?
me: *blink* simon. go to bed.
simon: but the imps might come back.
me: there are no imps! go to bed!
simon: *sniffle*
me: i love you simon. no imps will get you under my roof. now… go. to. bed.

simon finally goes to bed. the mystery of the imps has yet to be solved. however, we still have a gnome that turns the light off.

Current Mood:  confused

the following conversation happened at lunch with simon;

simon: elizabeth, do you think of your body?
me: yes, actually, i think of it every day.
simon: well… i think of my brain.
me: do you mean that you use your brain to think?
simon: yes, that’s right
daecon: your brain is part of your body
simon: what does my brain look like?

this was followed by getting down our copy of Grey’s Anatomy, and simon spent the next 15 minutes or so flipping through it and asking “what is that?” he also requested to see the ribcage, heart, and arm-bones.

Current Mood: proud

so i realize that my last posts were more of a disjointed ranting of a person in pain. something about back, head, and any pain dealing with your nervous system makes it very hard to concentrate. the inability to sleep even more disruptive, and top that off with the fact that it was too painful to have sex… well… i’ve pretty much been in a rotten mood for several weeks.

but i’m better now. several weeks and a couple hundred dollars of therapy and i can walk and dance again (sex too, perverts…sheesh). my soon to be non-existent insurance is useless for “alternative care”. oh well, its only money.

so, the good news.

i had my interview. it went OK, but not as well as i would have liked. they did ask me at the end of the interview “the hours are 11-7, would that be a problem if we offered you the job”. i said no. which leads into my next thing. i started school today, and i have a class on monday, wednesday, and friday at that ends at 11am.

see the problem?

ok, so that class is also taught by the head of my department. i talked to her after class, explained to her the situation. not only did she understand she gave me solutions! she said “well, we’ll put you in the saturday class if you get the job, and if you don’t, well, i need someone in our social studies computer lab”. w00t! so, either way i win and i was smiling on the way in to work.

now, if only i could find my reading glasses. i’m hoping they didn’t throw it away after playing with them and breaking them like they did with my badge. granted they told me about the badge and i said “i’m very dissapointed that you broke my badge, but VERY proud that you told me the truth”. i hope that re-inforces that behavior. they also managed to break the door to simon’s bureau upstairs. i’m going to have to take it off its hinges and get some wood glue and some vice clamps to put it back together.

simon has started this new thing the other day. its really funny and cute.

“hey, do you want to see my show?”
“sure simon!”

so after this he walks over and pretends to turn on a switch and then starts dancing and singing. or at least trying to dance, it looks more like funny jerking motions of a beginner marionette.

“manga manga manga pop! manga manga manga hippo! manga manga manga LION! ROAR! manga manga manga dance! ” so then he starts singing the song from Madagascar; “do you like to move it, move it! do you like to move it, move it! manga manga manga daecon! manga manga manga felicity! manga manga manga elizabeth!”

what’s even funnier is felicity is always two seconds behind him. she’s turned into a real copycat, that one. follows him around like a little shadow and does and says everything he does.

Current Mood:  hopeful

Current Music: Satellite - Dave Mathew's Band

simon: are cats humans?
daecon: no
simon: are cats demons
daecon: no simon, cats are cats because they are cats. that’s why they are called cats.
simon: then how can they lose their mittens?

Current Mood: huh?

so, despite my terribly aching back i went down to my mom and dad’s house today. they have a jack russell terrier named daisy.

now, felicity is a little drama queen at times and she’ll bump her knee and start crying
“i want a band-aid!” which really is just her trying to get attention. but today after she started doing this she said;

felicity: daisy has an owie!
my mom looking concerned: oh no, really? where!
felicity: under her tail!!

Current Mood: hurting

(to preface, my husband’s niece very much didn’t want to hit puberty, much less get breasts)

simon: i’m superman simon! felicity is cloud girl felicity!
felicity: i cloud girl, yay!!
husband’s niece: i want a superhero name too!
simon(without missing a beat): you’re Big Tit Girl!

Current Mood: still chuckling

Current Music: Satellite - Dave Mathew's Band

on a trip to the grocery store the following conversation ensues:

simon: i want to hold the watermelon!
me: simon, its pretty heavy. can you handle it? (its only like 5 pounds)
simon: i can do it, let me try, PLEASE!
me: ok

so i hand him the watermelon to hold in the van and all of the sudden i hear a big *THUD*. i turn around and look. the watermelon now has a jagged crack in it after simon dropped it on the floor.

me: simon! you said you could do it.
simon: i sorry. but.. but.. i wanted to have a mouth so it could talk to me.

*blink* *blink*

me: you what?
simon: i wanted to have a mouth so it could talk to me.
me: simon, you’re weird.

Current Mood:  confused

i forgot to bring a book to work. so, instead, i will post thoughts from the land of simon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
daecon (whispering): hey simon, would you like an icecream sandwhich?
simon (looking very confused): um.. well.. daecon, i have to tell you something.
daecon: what’s that simon.
simon: well… icecream will melt and that means.. um.. (he’s obviously collecting his thoughts)
daecon: yes?
simon: daaeecon.. icecream melts, it doesn’t go on sandwhiches!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
simon: the itsy bitsy spiderwent up the waterspout, merrily, merrily, merrily, gently down the stream…are those the right words, daecon?

Current Mood:  amused

Current Mood:  cheerful

driving on the way to drop my kids off for the morning couple days ago, my daughter started doing a baby version of “itsy bitsy spider”. i asked her if she was singing, and simon instantly had to sing too. so we sang “twinkle twinkle little star” and other early childhood songs. then simon says “do you want to sing the bear song”? bear song? i don’t know that one, and i say so and ask him to teach it to me.

simon says, “ok, but its really hard” and sings “bear bear bear GRRRR!!!! i’m a bear!” i couldn’t help it, i started laughing. said that yes, that was in fact a very hard song.

so early this morning as i’m cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast, felicity comes running in to hide in the cubby-hole at the end of the counter. simon comes in with one of his toy guns and says “i a bad guy!”

“is that right? well, no bad guys in the kitchen”

“oh, ok” and he runs back out, with felicity after him.

so my son gives his dad an imaginary present. daecon opens the present and says “what is it??”

simon says, “Its a bug!!”

to prevent things like your 15 month old bringing you the vibrator while having your morning cup of coffee.

at least there were no house guests…