ladykatza

At the edge of darkness
I step into light
And in that moment
I
am
blinded.

I wanted to write more about my trip, but I couldn’t. Then another idea, but it wasn’t there either. Now I am cursing my wakefulness and my brain’s non co-operative state. My thoughts are scattered and have been for a while. I have been keeping myself constantly busy since Christmas. If I don’t give myself time to be idle, then I won’t think so much and maybe the melancholy will stay at bay. I have neglected some very important parts of my life. Not to mention a million project ideas that are just laying and gathering dust. Literally and virtually.

Tired, so tired. So much needs doing, so much overwhelming, so much… so. much. Any moment I take for myself seem selfish, but I know this is silly and not right. Intellectually anyway.

Its dark right now, the downstairs is empty and quiet and I can listen to my music. I think, what I would like, is a day alone. Just a day with a clean house and nothing i have to do and no one to bother me. A day where I can read, or sleep, or work on a project.

I think, tomorrow, I will go back to tango lessons for the first time in months and months. Despite all my lamentations, I have gotten more rest these past few days off then I have in a while. And I miss dancing. I find it relaxing.

I think I can sleep now.