Zen is the sound of one hand clapping.
This story is where I am now.
A famous monk, who was a great teacher, died. He was best known, however, because of his chief disciple. Thousands of people came to pay homage to the monk when he died and to their amazement they found the chief disciple weeping. They were at a loss to understand him — an unattached person should not weep, especially one who has always said that the spirit never dies! Someone came and asked, “Why do you weep?”
The monk replied, “I cannot always live with ’whys.’ There are moments when there is no why. I am weeping, that’s all.”
Still they insisted, “You have always said that the soul is immortal. Why do you weep then?”
He replied, “I still maintain that the soul is immortal. But that does not stop me from weeping.”
This sounds illogical: if the soul is immortal, one should not weep. But the monk said, “The soul itself is weeping, and I cannot do anything about it. Whatsoever comes to me, I am one with it. Tears are coming, and I am one with them.”
The monk’s attitude cannot be categorized. We can understand someone’s weeping if he believes that the soul is mortal. If he believes the soul to be immortal and does not weep, that too is understandable, it is all right. The s
oul is immortal: for whom to weep? No one has died. But the chief disciple had said that the soul is immortal and yet he was weeping. There was no why; the tears were just flowing.
The people asked, “Do you weep for the body?”
The monk said, “Yes, it must be for the body that I am weeping. The body, too, was beautiful and it will never be seen again. I weep for the body.”
“But you are a spiritual man,” they said. And the argument went on. They accused him of confusing them.
“I myself am confused,” he said. “Life is such! The soul is important, but so are my tears. Such is life — so contradictory. It exists in contradictions. I myself am confused; but I am at ease with my confusions, I am at ease with my contradictions, so I am not tense. You see my tears, you see me weeping, but I am at ease. I am relaxed. I am blissful.”
I am not at ease or blissful, but I am weeping and confused. This story gives me something on which to ponder.
Current Mood: 
thoughtful
pleased
sad