ladykatza

simon: mummy’s are skeletons made out of toilet paper.

Current Mood: perplexed

So long ago, I don’t remember when
That’s when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin’ up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

[Chorus:]
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There’s got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it’s cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can’t break away from this parade
But there’s got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin’ all there’s good and nothingness is dead
We’ll run until she’s out of breath
She ran until there’s nothin’ left
She hit the end-it’s just her window ledge

[chorus]

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn’t turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I’d like to watch it burn
I’m so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain’t changed, but I know I ain’t the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin’ dreams
I think her death it must be killin’ me

Current Music: wishing this one was with me so i can listen to it

we’ve aquired a roommate recently. its an old friend, someone more family than friend. he was asked to move out of the house he was living in, the situation is confusing. everytime i try to explain it to people, they give me a funny look and say “gosh” like they expect it was all drama and bad stuff.

it wasn’t, it isn’t… its just how it worked out. the ex-husband (now my roommate) saw his ex-wife get married and cheered them on. we were there too, and it was a happy occasion. i am envious of her dress, it was a gold-taffetta skirt with an embroidered gold corset.

funniest thing, the kids get into the house and find the playroom. first thing simon does is pick-up the pretend chainsaw and say “cool, i’m going to kill me some zombies!”. instead of thinking this strange, our friends pick up with “oh, i’m so glad. we’ve had this horrible problem with invisible zombies lately”.

after the vows were made, which took a total of 6 minutes and 54 seconds, i went to talk to dreama (aka the bride). i said “so.. you don’t call, you don’t write and suddenly i get an invitation to your wedding and a roommate.”

to which she replied, “i didn’t send you the roommate”. we laughed after that, then went to eat food and partake of the chocolate fondue fountain. i wish i had remembered to get pictures of that, it was neat.

we left pretty early in the receptions, the kids had not taken a nap and we didn’t want them getting out of control. we said our goodbyes and promised to not be such strangers. well, at least that we should see each other more often, as we are always rather strange.

simon went up to dreama not long before we left and asked dreama “so now that you are married, are you going to get a baby in your tummy?”. this question surprised me, but even more was her response. “yes simon, that is very possible.”

i said nothing of it then, but the idea of them having children pleased me. we almost had boys a few months apart, but.. bad things happened. i believe in the end it was for the best.

so, here’s my electronic toast to their future. may it be bright and filled with more joy than pain.

Current Mood:  pleased

Current Music: The Lady of Shalott - Loreena McKennitt

I’ve been to london, to visit the queen!

A herniated disk is a long, slow road to recovery and I don’t think it will ever end. I’ve had phsyical therapy and two spinal injections of steroids. I’m better now. Some of the feeling has returned in my foot and I’m not chewing pain pills every four hours. I take something slightly stroner twice, sometimes once a day. I don’t cry and scream in pain every morning anymore.

But the most frustrating thing is that I’m still not allowed to dance. I miss it so much, and now I realized just how much I would dance and the amount of excersice that I got from it. Its very hard to lose weight (which i need to do to help my back as well as my self esteem) when you are limited to walking, recumbent bike, and diet. I have a recumbent bike available at work, but I don’t spend much time there outside of regular hours.

Speaking of work, its going well enough. I’ve found myself with more and more responsibilites, a little more visibility.

So I’m awake at this ungodly hour of the morning because my cat, Manga, brought in a field mouse that was making noises loud enough to wake me from a deep sleep. I’m annoyed, because it was a good sleep as well. Something of which I’ve had little lately. There is much worry in my life.

My parents are not in the greatest of health these days, and my father seems to be deteriorating of late. He went to the hospital yesterday with a nose bleed that had been going on for over two hours. Mom is better after her (horrible) stint in the hospital, but weaker. daecon’s grandmother is well… not good. Neither is his other remaining grandfather.

But as daecon said earlier, we have many relatives that are getting older. I’m hitting that cycle of life, I guess. Friends I’ve had for years, they are getting married and some are having children. Those of my friends that have chosen not to procreate, but still stick around have become like an extended family to me and mine. We try to take care of each other.

Then there are my children whom have grown exponentially in the last six months. I don’t know when I lost track of felicity going from toddler to kid. Simon has just grown so much and he starts kindergarten this year. I’m more excited than he is, and trying to get every thing ready and be organized because things are really going to start getting busy. I’ve got on my “to do” list that I need to call around to the different pre-k places to put felicity on the waiting list for the state-funded program. There’s no way I could afford it any other way, but she’s going to need it. She’ going to be lost without her big brother to play with.

I’ve taken up sewing very recently and I’m enjoying it a great deal. Its a hobby I’ve found can get my attention for some time. One of the few things I can do right now.

We have a roommate now,  who moved in recently because there have been some changes to where he was living.  We have to go to a wedding tomorrow because of those changes, a friend we haven’t seen in ages.

Life feels like its not quite in my control, like too many things are passing by me.  I just turned 30 and apparently I can’t have a midlife crisis for at least another 10 years.

Things are very much normal, and at the same time, very much strange.