ladykatza

i’m already showered dressed and having my ritual coffee and bagel at my desk. the kids have turned off the TV and are upstairs playing almost quietly. i woke up thinking about all the things that need to get done around the house. laundry, cleaning the kitchen, milking the cow, and vacuuming. just kidding about the cow.

there’s other things i need to do, like make out a new household budget and a schedule for work, school, and play. i thought to myself “good grief that sounds rigidly stuctured” and then i thought “good grief its only 8am and i’m already thinking about these things on a saturday!”. you know, for once i would like to manage to keep my goal of cleaning up the dishes and making the kitchen look presentable every night before i go to bed.

*sigh* why am i thinking all this? i am a busy person and i have a lot on my plate. i want to stress myself as little as possible. not borrowing trouble is a possible solution to that as well.

my thoughts are scattered around like shiny pebbles on a creek bed. its a beautiful, albeit cold day outside. i think i’m going to dress the kids and send them outside to play in the backyard.

Current Mood:  complacent

daecon: simon! sing the pirate song!
simon: if you want to be a pirate, you have to be dead!

Current Mood:  amused

prepare warp engines!

Current Mood: cool!

so i used one of my “good for one movie” babysitting coupons i got for christmas yesterday and went to go see The Chronicles of Narnia with daecon, steve, and jen. we got there a little early so we were watching the “pre-show entertainment” which was mostly advertising and trying to get you to buy more stuff of the concession stand.

one of these commercials was very visually stimulating, making you read what was on the screen as it flashed by so you could get the story of… well i don’t remember what the story was because i got caught by the music. if you can call it music.

see, i am entranced by other languages. i LOVE listening to them, even if i have no idea what they are saying. i realized that the music playing in the background was NOT in english. in fact, it wasn’t in any language. it was complete nonsense and i was confused. i listened more intently. i started to hear words what my brain recognized, “coke”, “chips”, “hungry”. they were randomly placed between other non-sensical words.

hah! clever bastards didn’t get me! i’m on to your plot to make me buy more food and get fat! you learn in psychology that your brain will try to make sense out of what it can’t understand. make the person concentrate on reading the screen, and they don’t pay attention to the music. the brain is still trying to analyse the data in the background and you get sucked in.

but i didn’t, i heard it.

then the next commerical comes on. its sexy music playing while a frothy beverage is being pored over icecream. the shape of the glass is an icon of Coca-Cola.

i say, “man, they’re trying to make us buy stuff.”
and just as the logo shows up on the top of the glass, my husband says “i just wish i knew what!”.

Current Mood: un-fooled!

and that year will be 2006.

ok, so the GOOD things that happened to me:

i got a new, better, and much more awesome job
i got a new car
i’m back in school, and my first semester rocked
my husband and kids are in good health
my father had his cataracts removed and can see much better
i made a couple new “pen pal” friends

i have good feelings about this year to come. life is never easy, but sometimes its more fun than others. i have grown as a person, and learned from my mistakes.

i’m not one for new year resolutions anymore, but it seems to be a tradition. last year i made a resolution to start keeping a calendar with important information. i wrote all the birthdays i had in there. i mentioned to a friend i had made a resolution to start keeping track of these things.

she said, “i’m not good about birthday cards and things.”

to which i replied, “oh, i’m not either. i just wrote it down this year, next year i’ll actually try to send them.”

one step at a time.

so, beside remembering to SEND the cards, my other resolution is to get in shape. i’m not fat (yet), but i’m very out of shape. i had started exercising, riding my bike, eating really well… i was feeling good and losing weight. then i fell while carrying my daughter down the stairs. she had just turned one and i was afraid of dropping or hurting her, so i held her close to my chest and took the fall on my hip.

it didn’t hurt that bad… until later. i have been in situations where i was in so much pain i couldn’t move, i was crying, it really, really fucking hurt. my chiropractor almost sent me to the emergency room. i got through it, but i stopped being so physically active. its showing.

i don’t like it.

so, i’m feeling better. i know what sorts of things i can do and not do now. i am already working on it.

my life has not been as hard as many, but it hasn’t been easy. i know people my age that aren’t adults yet because they’ve never had to deal with crisis (or refuse to deal with them). they have not yet been shown the door.

“isn’t it amazing how much mature wisdom is often mistaken for being too tired?” - robert a. heinlein

Current Mood: determined

Current Music: my cat snoring