ladykatza

today marks five years of marital bliss. well, as blissful as any marriage can be.

i think the mistake that so many people make in this time and place is the expectation that everything is a smooth ride after you tie the knot. so much of our society is built up on the romantic expectation of that union that the moment they hit a bump in the rode, someone is out of there. “i’m not doing it right,” or “its all their fault”…

somewhere parents forgot to teach their kids that it is about communication, compromise, love, and friendship. but that brings me on to another subject, which is that parents in this country shelter their children way too much. every bump, scrape, bruise, and harsh word is a crisis.

oh please, its only a flesh wound. scars build character! ok, so being completely callous isn’t the way to go either. its the parable of the shield…shield them too much and they have no skills to survive, shield them too little and they do not survive to adulthood.

there have been times i’ve watch my children fall and hurt themselves because i had already told them over and over again not to do something and why. sometimes getting hurt is the only way they learn. i’d rather a controlled environment than when i’m not there to kiss it better.

these are philosophies of raising children that my husband and i have felt strongly about. you may disagree, you may not.

1) the goal is to raise an adult, not a child
2) every parent, no matter how well intentioned, will install some sort of psychosis or button in their children. it is inevitable. however, if you pay attention to rule one, they will have a better chance of overcoming these than their peers.
3) always remember to ask yourself when bad things happen these two things a) was it fatal? b) was it permanent? if the answer to those two questions is NO, then you are in better shape than you think.
4) never own white furniture

p.s. i rented The Neverending Story and watched it with simon and felicity. you should have seen the smile and light in their eyes. i said “that’s what happens when you read books”.

i am now required to read bedtime stories (not that i wasn’t doing that anyway).

Current Mood:  thoughtful