ladykatza

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in. (because there is always room for jello…)
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll then ask you something that I’ve always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal, or else!

Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. they should never settle merely for equality. For women, “equality” is a disaster. -Robert A. Heinlein

this quote has been on my mind lately. i’ve been thinking about “feminism” and what it means to me. often i use the term “femi-nazi” to describe those women that refuse to have the door held open for them, or insist that they can do everything a man can, and exhibit very masculine traits.

that is not feminism to me. its a being in touch with yourself, being strong in the things that are unique to my sex. evolution created us to fullfill the nurturing role of mothers, care-givers, and spiritual advisors. this is not to say that is ALL women can do, nor that is what all women want to do. however, it is in our nature.

a woman who is firm in her sexuality, who understand the subtle strength that comes from nurturing life is a healthy woman. when we get old and pass the years of our fertility, then it is our job to pass on the knowledge that has been gained to the younger generation. in centuries past, women were responsible for running the household and planning the gardens. this was a _job_ and important task. in times of war, or during the pioneer days of the west, women stayed behind to tend the land.

they raised the children, they put down roots, they made a place a home. they were mid-wives.

i never object to a man holding the door, or holding my chair. i never say no to a helping hand when standing up from digging in my garden. i feign annoyance when my husband comes in and nibbles on the back of my neck while i am cooking.

remember ladies, men want and need to feel useful. they want to be loved. care for them and let them do for you as they need to, but do not feel this ever means that you can’t do it yourself. you can, you just don’t have to all the time.

Current Mood:  thoughtful

Current Music: Dead Can Dance

Current Mood:  cheerful

daecon is now among the gainfully employed. he starts wednesday.

*happy dance*

Current Mood:  relieved

i’m a bitch.

putting off telling people how you feel because your afraid it will hurt there feelings doesn’t help their feelings. makes things worse in the long run, and makes one a bitch.

so i’m a bitch. i accept this and move on. i just feel bad that i hurt someone’s feeling.

in other news. my grandmother is back in the hospital and they have her on a morphine drip. everything has been ruled out. except bone marrow cancer. mom was saying that we should all go out for thanksgiving. aunt pat (the nurse) says it needs to be much sooner than that.

guess i’ll be buying a plane ticket to colorado soon.

Current Mood:  sad

something REALLY BAD is about to happen in congress.

no, i mean really.

here’s hoping that there are enough republicans left with some semblance of sanity to not do this. it seems to be getting a view of “but the democrats are getting veto power!” when the republicans did this to a great number of the judge appointees during the Clinton administration.

the one big reason that i didn’t want Bush Jr. in power is because i forsaw this happening. stack all three branches of power in your favor, and VIOLA! oh look, the conservatives just ruined our checks and balances system. it reminds me of any time someone at AIT would use something in the rules to their advantage to piss off the story tellers, the ST’s said “fuck you, we’ll change the rules” (from my husband’s point of view, this was a win). sometimes the rule was broken and needed to be changed. sometimes it was truly their way of tit for tat.

petty, stupid, and it sucks because they can get away with it.

“beating will continue until morale improves”

Current Mood:  aggravated

“What are the facts? Again and again and again — what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what “the stars foretell,” avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable “verdict of history” — what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!” -Heinlein

so on my drive into work this morning i got three different calls from recruiters looking for daecon. “nope, he’s at home”

well, this is a good thing! he’s got two tech tests on monday for two different jobs. the second one that he got a call for today, they said if he passes the test, they hire him. i forsee no issue there, its only a matter of time. a friend is letting us borrow his car while he’s out of town for three weeks. this will give us time to acquire another set of wheels for the time being.

tuesday we finalize the paperwork for our name changes and then the waiting period for the public announcement. then its the whole “new government documentation” shenanigans; birth certificates, SSN, driver’s license. after all that, i’ll have earned another dot in “bureaucracy”.

my friend Josh is joining the Airforce. i wish him good luck with it and hope he lands one of the good tech jobs. the military is always looking for smart people to run the tech, and normally they don’t stick them on the front lines. this does not mean you are always safe, just that the risk isn’t so bad. he’s been talking to daecon for advice and “translation”.

“the recruiter said this, but what does that REALLY mean?”

beware of military recruiters. they’re like used car salesmen with a flashy uniform.

Current Mood:  hopeful

i really want a swingset/playset for the kids. not one of the stupid metal ones you buy at walmart either. you can get kits at homedepot or lowes that have the basic and you can spend anywhere from 400 dollars to obscene amounts of money to build it. of course, they are always expandable. so now, i’m in a “oh god i can’t decide” bind. i’m thinking i might by the basic hardware package kit, and then get the rest of it piece-meal-as-we-can sort of way.

so, i guess i hold off on that and work on other things that are a little more pressing. like other modes of transportation.

Current Mood: undecided

Recently, there was an editorial that was posted in USA Today. You can read it HERE if you are so inclined.

Please write to your representatives and urge them not to renew the Patriot Act. There are too many things in that bill that are harmful to our freedom of speech and expression.

Current Mood: concerned

ok, so the damage isn’t as bad as initially thought. its not going to be terribly expensive to fix, just a pain in the ass and really really messy.

so on to other things.

i bought seeds. picked out ones i hope will do well in my shady garden. some oriental peas, some hairloom canterbury bells, four o’ clocks, morning glories, some sweet peppers (the colored kind), bibb lettuce and white pumpkins. i’ve been paying a lot of attention to spots in the yard that get a good six hours of direct sunlight a day. there’s plenty of them, little patches here and there that will get a handfull of seeds. so i might get my vegetables anyway, in a disorderly “hide and seek” sort of fashion. the kids were rather excited about the growing of vegetables.

a little hint, vegetables that like cool weather will do ok in the heat when planted in partial shade and kept watered, but not TOO watered.

i went here and bought two more bras. its a wonderful place to go if you are an odd size. just beware, its not cheap.

Current Mood:  mellow

so the toilet upstairs has been broken for some time. we’ve tried everything, plunger, draino, plumber’s snake (that was yesterday). still… yuck.

so last night i’m trying to sleep and i keep hearing this noise. i can’t identify it and finally i decide i’m too tired and just go to sleep. early morning, i wake up, daecon’s not snoring and i hear it more clearly.

water dripping. i get up and follow the sound.. its coming from in the wall. FUCK. i go over to where the water heater is, the water is dripping down from the upstairs toilet (which still isn’t working) and into the closet where the water heater is. so badly that the floor has pulled away from the bottom of the wall an inch and is soggy. DOUBLE FUCK.

ok, so daecon goes up and cuts off the water to the upstairs bathroom. about four hours later the wall has dried up. so that’s the good part. its not an unstoppable leak.

so i’m trying to figure out where the HELL i’m going to get the money to pay for this and my next refund check comes back. well, that’s good. i guess it will be spent on a plumber (or rather, pay my brother-in-law to fix it) instead of a shitty car.

Current Mood:  pissed off

ok, so i hadn’t read a book in a while and it felt good to breeze through this one. its much easier to get the lay of the world than her Black Jewel Trilogy.

this setting is old world fuedal/village type setting. elves and other fae are real, and so are witches. its starts out with the elves wondering why the roads between their world and the human world are closing the clans in those sections fading into mist.

there is a lot of allusion to the inquisition and world war two in this book. its also very similar to her other series in the respect that imbalance between male and female and nature causes bad things to happen.

ok, so this is all vaugue, i realize, but its a good book and well worth reading.

Current Mood:  nerdy

do not be so arrogant to think that you know my heart. i have endured a great many things, i have survived. i am not so arrogant to feel that i am the only one who has suffered.

we all suffer.

when you look inside, i am the darkness staring back at you. from darkness their came light, and with light came conciousness. no one really knows how it all began, only that we are and continue to be. therefore we can only be accountable for ourselves and our actions. we are responsible.

the devil did not make you do it, there is no devil. this means that only you can take responsibility. free thought, free will, it is not something given, it is something you decide.

these are only words. they have no real meaning. they are cobbled together from fragments of other’s memories and thrown across a screen.

do not listen, there is nothing to see.

Current Mood:  contemplative

so, they have decided at work that we are no longer allowed to have firefox installed due to its increasing popularity. why? well, the more people using it, the more people try to find holes in it, because that’s just how script kiddies like to function. since its an open-source browser, out the window it goes. doesn’t matter if the community of coders will find fixes for it. *sigh* this wouldn’t be such a pain in the arse if IE would incorporate tab browsing.

Current Mood:  annoyed

i don’t know where to start, really. i’ve been sick the past couple of days and functioning on decongestants and nyquill. i’m floating around in this half daze, running on auto-pilot. i decided to try something new this time and take it easy instead of rushing to do all those things that need doing the moment i feel a little bit better. its really hard, considering the amount i’ve heaped onto my plate.

i promised simon and felicity that they could help water the herbs today. they don’t really put that much on the plants themselves, just kinda in the general area. this is a good thing at the moment when you consider its been raining off and on. it was nice when putting felicity to bed. she likes to be rocked before bedtime, and having the small nightlight on, feeling my daughter curled up in my lap, the creaking of the rocking chair and the patter of rain on the window makes it feel very much like home. its a feeling of serenity.

i’ve found during most of my daze that i’ve been watching my children. it feels like ages since i’ve been part of their lives. i see so much of us in them. a different expression, a different phrase, i see our parents’ and grandparents’ in them, i see how they absorb everything around them and how aware they are. felicity is starting to show a real love of wildlife and an interest in gardening. simon wants to learn how to cook. they are still young enough that i get scared sometimes when i’m doing things that involve boiling water or frying in grease. still, start small and work up to the rest.

my last visit to see Pain was very pleasant. this was almost a month ago and of course we took pictures. he’s been playing with photoshop these days. he sent me the following picture:

i wasn’t sure about it at first, but i think i like it. there are more and i want to see what he does with them.

chris came over yesterday and basically hung out. i’m very glad he was here because i think i would have had a very difficult time without him. daecon had gone to work his three day temp job at some converance, so i was very glad for his company. we talked over several things and it cleared up a great deal of anxiety.

Current Mood:  lethargic

Current Music: Faithless

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. If we’ve met, when and how did we meet?
4. What social event or place would you like to go to with me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When’s the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
14. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Current Mood:  ditzy

so whenever i would say to my parents as a kid, “my nose is running” one of them would answer with “quick! catch it!” i guess you could call it a running gag. so now i’m at that point where i want to roll up a tissue and stick it in my nostril so i don’t have to wipe my nose every few minutes. *sniff*

anyway, i’m having trouble sleeping. i’m restless and daecon is sleeping well and generating a lot of heat. so now i’m up and writing.

i have a couple of new pictures of my kids :)

Current Mood:  sick

so debbie came and picked up daecon and the kids so they could stop by the staffing office for paperwork for the two-week temp job. apparently they had to take daecon’s grandmother to the doctor because she has some problem (she’s always having problems, she’s really really old). i just called my house, debbie’s cell, and debbie’s house and no one is answering the phone. so now i’m a little worried. because the only reason debbie ever has her cell phone turned off (ie. ringing directly to VM) is if she’s at the hospital and its posted. i’m probably borrowing trouble, but… grrr… i hope that his grandmother is ok, though. the kids really love her and when it comes her turn to pass away, they are going to be very sad.

i called and talked to my mom the other day. she said that Dorothy called to talk to her about the electric wheel-chair that she and grandpa W were going to give her. apparently there is no way to actually take the thing appart for shipping. that means that we have to drive down to get it if we want it. then mom said she started in about the funeral at Arlington Cemetary and was being very venemous about my dad’s side of the family. she is apparently the one that convinced my grandfather to completely cut his kids and grandchildren out of his will and give it all to her family. except the electric wheel-chair, because he felt sorry for my mom. bitch.

mom said “i can’t think of two more selfish people deserving of each other in my entire life.” *sigh* there is a reason i try to keep myself out of family feuds and disputes. it makes life much easier.

i’m going to go take a walk. i think the semi-fresh air and sunshine will do me some good.

ok, so daecon didn’t get the job because they decided not to hire anyone at this time. the recruiter has two weeks of conferance work lined up for him. she’s been very active about calling him back and so far has delivered everything she promised. i guess having a recruiter on your side is a good thing.

so, i decided to channel my frustration into more constructive (or at least more enjoyable) avenues. mmm… more garden research, research on the political make-up of cobb county school district, and cisco research. i’m sure my husband would like sex or thinking about sex somewhere on that list, but lately i just don’t feel interested. my libido decided to go on vacation, i guess.

i really want to go see Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. hopefully the attempt this sunday will not be foiled.

Current Mood:  apathetic

OK, so it is now officially working. the new plugin automatically updates my LJ, it just takes a while. i have no problem with that. so now, i try a few other things.

like putting stuff in blockquote

creating a link

posting an image:

Current Mood:  accomplished