ladykatza

after filing a police report and changing all my accounts at the bank, i get a call from some stranger named “kenny” (who i thought was my brother-in-law at first) today saying they found my organizer!! they wanted me to come meet them at the BP. i kept trying to think of a way i could get the kids up and to the store without making them wait forever. so i asked if they’d drop it by my house since they were only about a mile away. they sounded surprised. one of the two that were in the car asked about a “list” i had. saying it was a very interesting list. i couldn’t remember what they were talking about.

so, i change clothes and pick up my daughter to carry her out with me. (you see, when meeting strange men, having a baby in your arms makes it really hard for them to try anything) they drove up in a beat up ol’ pickup with a confederate flag plastered all over the front. they were the quintesential rednecks.

well, i thanked them and offered them the only two dollars i had in the organizer, they declined. a few ackward moments, i noticed one of them was wearing a scorpion pendant, i metioned it, saying that i have a friend that likes scorpions and that she had given us her preserved king scorpion. they seemed impressed. a few minutes later i said thank you again, and was on my way back in, and they asked me again about this interesting list.
*click*
OH, they were talking about a list of “marital aides” daecon and i had come up with.

“oh ya, i had forgotten about that. it was one my husband and i have been working on”.

the more mundane things on this list?

flogger
stockings
corset
jodpurs
rope

um… right, that’s the mundane bits. fill in the blank for the rest.

but, the long and the short, i have my organizer back. now two strangers know more about me than i ever wanted them to know.

ok, so i did a stupid thing today. i went and left my organizer on top of my car when trying to get the kids out the door. guess what, its gone!! bye bye. didn’t even realize it until we went to go buy a bike for simon’s birthday. i tore the house and car apart looking, trying not to succumb to the panicky hissy-fit i’ve been known to throw in the past*.

so, we went driving along the rode i was on looking for a very small black organizer, didn’t fine it (no surprise there). we stopped by the police station and asked if anyone had turned it in. i’ll take a moment here to point out that police stations give me this weird creepy feeling. i know i haven’t done anything WRONG, but i still don’t like being there. anyway…

so, i’ve called the bank, filed the police report, and now my organizer with all my phone numbers and addresses are GONE. shit shit shit and sheiβe. and here i always said that hard copy was better. the IRONY of it ALL *slaps hand to forhead*.

so, here’s a handy note. keep backup copies of all important information and photocopies of any documents in your wallet/oranizer. yes, this is a good thing.

and now, i go kill things. (no silly, computer games)

** footnote: ok, in referance to my fore-mentioned hissy-fits. i have a temper (goes with the territory of being a redhead). sometimes my temper gets the better of me, and i realize it afterward. this usually makes me feel very small and i want to go run and hide under the couch. however, i have found that being aware of one’s tendencies allows you to come at them with a rational mindset. i have made great strides toward this effort, with the exception of about 4 days out of a month. (all married men are now chuckling knowingly to themselves)

being a mother is a full time job. anyone who thinks otherwise if fooling themselves. i work four, ten hour days while my mother-in-law keeps the kids, and the other three days i work my second job, mother and wife. in fact, its a job that you are always “on duty”.

alright, so why am i bringing this up? i took my kids to a park about 8 miles away. its right smack dab in the middle of upper-middle class suburbia and always a bunch of house-wives there. why do i go? well, because its a nice, well-kempt playground in the shade, that’s why. the other mom’s there rarely talk to me, and i’m always playing with the kids while they stand around and bitch to one another about how thier husband’s come home and expect to be waited on hand and foot. they never help out…

then they talk about going back and getting their master’s degree. and i’m like WHY!! you aren’t doing anything with the one you HAVE! holy cow, batman. i’m thinking to my self “oh yes, an M.R.S. degree. parent’s sent them to college to find a husband”

ok, i am blessed with a wonderful husband. we’re both geeks, and both started out in the computer industry, but he got hit by outsourcing. so now he works a hard job in a wharehouse to help us get by. still, he helps out as much as he can.

there’s a point to all this, really. secret to a happy marraige? communication, communication, and a sense of humor. its a willingness to work things out when things get rough and not just run at the first sign of trouble. housewife: its a job, and with every job, you need a vacation. talk to you husband, work something out and get AWAY for a while. schedule time to go do something on your own. it helps keep your sanity.

so, on an end note, if you’re looking for something to do:

Burlesque a GO-GO

a friend of mine is hosting it. maybe i’ll see you there?

i’ve been breaking my own rule of not discussing politics. i made the mistake of saying this morning to say that i decided to cast my vote in a certain direction because i like a paticular canditate’s wife. i got lambasted

“how typically american, not paying attention to the issues, but voting because you like one’s wife better than the other”

i wasn’t sure how to defend myself on this one. of COURSE i pay attention to the issues. but, politicians are flaky at best, dirty liars at worst. they float whichever way the current of special interest money is flowing. whores have more self-respect, at least they are honest in their illusion.

so i talked to my husband, told him how it made me feel, and he summed it up very well for me. (i should mention that he puts things into words that i understand intuitively)

so you’ve got 3 candidates that weigh in on your three favorite issues,
one likes gay marriage but also likes war in iraq and lumber rights,
another hates gays, war and logging, and the third likes all the money
the war is making his family’s small arms business, but he hates uppity
gays and those annoying owls in the trees. issues are generally for
people who can compromise their lives down to one main issue. if you
can’t get a candidate who stands for enough things to set them apart from
everyone else, you have to find _something_ to differentiate them. maybe
the one who can attract the best mate has some qwalities you aren’t
getting any info about in the ‘issues’

so, you see, it makes sense to me to look at the people a person surrounds themselves with. it gives you a better idea of who they are and what they are about. my mother always told me to choose my friends (and lovers) wisely, because they affect you for the rest of your life.

bagels and creamcheese, mmmmm

i keep thinking that i can’t _really_ be getting old, but my joints tell me differently. my body is stiff and achey when i wake up in the morning, and it takes a force of will to get out of bed and move. a hot shower helps, food, coffee. the trick is, don’t give in.

i’m sure a lot of my lower back pain and stiffness is due to falling down the stairs 4 weeks ago. i had my 14 month old daughter in my arms and i had to protect her, so i took the brunt of it, landing on my hip and sliding down several steps. the bruise didn’t go away for two weeks. i didn’t even think about it until one evening after a bike ride, i just couldn’t move without pain. just doing housework and playing with the kids was difficult (and the house shows for my slackness).

i went to see my chiropractor, it helped. yoga and stretching excersices help too. wonderful thing, all of those. don’t discount ancient arts of healing, they’ve had YEARS to perfect the art. don’t discount modern medicine, either, for if it wasn’t for advances in that field, i wouldn’t be here several times over. i think my husband would be heartbroken by that thought.

on a note of femininity, men are a very important part of this. no matter what they think, men need women. they look to us for comfort and nurturing and to feel important. this may not work they way you think, because letting them hold you when you feel vulnerable makes them feel needed. my thoughts on this are disjointed right now, i’ll compose more structured thoughts on this later.

time to get the kids dressed and out the door.

so, i had an idea about what i want as the title of my page. several variations on a simple theme. it was a culmination of ideas gleaned from conversations and info-bytes from the endless press of humanity around me. a series about beauty on NPR, my mother, a few friends.

women lack in this modern western world (and maybe many other places) a positive role model of a mature woman. a mistress, a matriarch, a mother…still beautiful and full of vigor. a woman not young, not old, but mature and wise. a woman sure of herself and secure in her sexuality. sexy, invigorating, nurturing…

you already know what marketing and advertisment thrusts upon us every day. how many realize these images affect them subliminally? so many things i can go on and on about, but i digress.

i am told i am an attractive woman, that i am beautiful and hold many of the qualities of which i speak. i can’t tell you if this is truly the case, but i feel that i am different in an exceptional way. conceited? possibly, but i make no apologies.

so here it is….

i’m trying to get my webpage built and together. its seems to be lots of bits and pieces. i have ideas for what i want to do to the front page to link it all together. its slow going and time consuming, but i’ve made a promise to myself.